Process of Elimination is now up!
(if this link doesn't work, you can find the story under The Rachel Chronicles)
I am a little happier with it. At least I don't think Rachel comes over as quite so much of a Mary Sue, although Straker is definitely a Marty Ste (after all he IS one!) and true to character I hope! I will work my way through the rest, slowly and I will be removing some adverbs !!
It might seem silly, revising stories that I wrote two years ago, but it is actually very good to read through and see where I was heading. (And there were several silly mistakes that should have been picked up much earlier.)